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Eroticon 2013

So, time is flying by and there is barely 23 days before Eroticon 2013 starts and myself, along with many others shall have a day or two of wonderful talks, workshops and a chance to meet people we have admired and enjoyed from afar through the wonders of the web.

My reason to wanting to go is a very simple one; I want to improve my blog and expand my writing repertoire, and there is no better chance for me to do so! I'm trying to decide who I want to see and what I want to hear and I am still finalising it all, but with luck I'll have it all sorted, along with a new domain, cards and more professional approach to it all, before that fateful weekend in March arrives.

So, with this all in mind, I guess I should do my Meet and greet Name: SJ
Twitter id: @perfectlytwistd @TwistedErotica
Must attend Eroticon 2013 session: Oooh, so hard for me to choose but I know I have to see The Lens of Eroticism: Romanticism with a big R & Eroticism with a big E. Remittance Girl

Bloggers you’d like to be trapped in the lift with: For me it's LadyPandorah, ruffledsheets, Mydesire and mollysdailykiss
Erotic writer you’d like to write dramatize your life story: sounds shallow, but myself...
Expected biggest fangirl / fanboy moment: Seeing Zoe Margolis, she is one of the main reasons I love sex blogging etc.
What keeps you awake at nights? Ideas, pain and snoring!

See who else is coming here;
I look forward to meeting many of you....

Obeying...

Teasing, tasting your desire upon their lips,
 moaning, gasping, reaching for their hips.
 Biting, nipping, asking them for more,
Softly saying in their ear "I'm your willing little whore.."

 Gripping, tensing as your pleasure builds in between your thighs
 Whimpering,pleading, begging to cum between your sighs.
Screaming, panting as you feel yourself shake,
Looking them in the eyes as the barrier starts to break.
Smiling, shivering as your orgasm starts to unfurl,
 your muscles tightening around his cock, as your fingers start to curl..
around his shoulders, nails biting deep into his skin,
He moans aloud as he too cums, filling you within.

You lay there sated, purring, marks showing on your breasts,
 from his teeth, his hand,the wax and cane,the pinwheel on your chest.
The red marks across your thighs and arse, easy to be seen
 a map of his love, his touch, his pleasure,the paths of where he's been...

What is sex?

To you, I mean. What does it mean for you? For some it is as simple as an animal driven desire, an urge that needs to be filled, an itch to scratch. To others it's a connection, a way to show love for the person they are with. What does sex mean to me? Well, it means a lot of things. But I'm a complicated girl. Sex is a pleasure, something I enjoy and depending the circumstance it can mean many a thing. With a partner sex has many roles for me; a way to be close to them, a connection between the two of us, fulfilling a desire they give me. Then there is sexual tension lust filled pure fucking, the type you have with someone who sets a fire burning deep in your stomach that creeps between your thighs as you look at them, but you know it is purely a sex based thing for you, not the base of a relationship. The type of sex that leaves you sated, aching and breathless. I'm not saying you can;t get the same sex in a relationship but this type just feels different. Some people use sex as a way of being "liked". They feel that as a person they have nothing to offer but in the bedroom. Others use it as a reward, or a weapon. Sex is a weird thing really. But so enjoyable. It is such as expansive thing, and there is always new ways and techniques you can learn, but to me there is one key point. It should always be enjoyed, never feared. Is there such a thing as bad sex? Oh, hell yes! Do I regret the bad sex? No, it taught me to be more particular, to be vocal and when the guy is going hell for leather but missing the spot, I learnt to kick them off and finish myself off, but that is another story for another day...

What's your role?

So, I was all set to write a blog about my desire for Wax play when I was asked again to be a Domme last night. It seems a few people see me in this kind of role and it got me thinking, are we as we seem or are labels handed out in the kink world and world of sex far too easily?

I'm often told I would make a great Dominatrix, because of how I look. People Picture me in latex and fuck me shoes, welding a whip and barking at subs or slaves, telling them how good or bad they are. Honestly? I'm not a Domme, I'm not a true Sub either. Does this make me a switch? I considered this too. My head reeled with labels after this. Am I a sadist, as I like to degrade or get pleasure from certain aspects of degrading during sex? No. Am I a masochist as I like being controlled with some pain and such? Again, I don't think so. There are so many boxes and labels people use these days, it's easy to wonder if and where you really fit in an erotic/kink/fetish kind of world. It was such thoughts actually, that made me pull away from many outlets and groups of wonderful people last year. I started to consider that if I was none of the "usual labels" then maybe it meant I was trying to be where I didn't belong, where I wasn't welcomed. So who am I? I guess I'm a little of most labels rolled into one.
I'm an exhibitionist; I love people getting pleasure from pictures of me.
I'm a switch; giving and receiving pleasure and pain are major things for me. Tie me down and spank me or let me leave you with marks and signs of me desire, either way I'm happy.
I'm Curious; suggest things to me, plant seeds in my mind and let them grow.
Overall, I'm just filth. But we knew that anyway..

Whatever you do, don't try and box me.. Unless it's a fantasy of mine of course

Apologies!

I feel like I owe my blog, as much as anyone else an apology. Blog, I have negelected you, and by neglecting you, I have neglected my erotica/kink side. This is a bad thing, no as in "ooh yeah that's bad, baby" kind of bad but as in the "I'm neglecting what makes me, me" kind of bad. And it needs to be rectified.

When I say rectified, I don't mean the knickers are gone, the legs are open and I'm a free ride. I want to go back to basics, learn what I find a turn on, what likes and dislikes I have. Part of this exploring is done through my writing. Seriously, the more turned on I get thinking over and writing a piece, the more likely I am to go "Ooh, you know what, I really wanna try this".

To me, sex is a pleasure, a major love and desire of mine. I like talking kink and erotica, learning what people enjoy and such. Exploring, for me, is something I want to do a lot more of this year. I know what I enjoy to a degree, but pushing the boundaries more really appeals. People do new year resolutions, me? I do mini goals and challenges.

So, from a sexual/erotica side of things, what does 2013 mean for me?

1. Get to know my body. I mean really know it. I know what to do to get excited, get me off and get me going, but I've never pushed myself to the limits.
2. Explore more, try different kinks and fetishes. It's never a bad thing to add pleasures to your lists
3. Spend more time with fellow erotic and sexual beings, I became really reclusive in 2012, no more though.
4. Write more. I have so many ideas bursting inside my smut filled mind, I may as well set them free.

Who knows, the odd Sinful Sunday post might appear too.. It's not like I'm short on lingerie or anything....

I hope you started your New Years as you mean to go on. Much love to you all.

Fifty shades...

Today let's do something different on here. Let's review the latest phenomenon...

Unless you have been on the moon; in a coma or just oblivious to everything in the world, it has been near impossible to miss the latest big hit in the literacy world. They hit the shelves, the e- books and everything in between in a flurry of dark covers, embraced with grey/silver images.  I am of course, talking about E.L.James’ Fifty shades trilogy.  The reaction was overwhelming; women everywhere seemed to love the “clit lit”, the erotica that involved a little added extra from your typical Mills & Boons. Honestly, I had no desire to read them. When it comes to hype, I go the opposite way. Can you keep a secret? I avoided Titanic for a decade. I don’t like mass hype over something, as more often than not it won’t live up to it. There are exceptions to the rules mind, but I knew deep down, these books wouldn’t be an exception. The whole inspiration for these books is the Twilight saga. This instantly made me groan inwardly. I’ll admit I’ve read 3 ½ (yes a half, my book fell apart) of the twilight saga, and for what it was I didn’t mind it. But, it should have been left there. See, when you write fan fiction, the likes of fifty shades is born. 

Fifty shades came crashing in as a top seller the day they were released. Housewives and frustrated women everywhere were clamouring over one another to read these books. I really had no interest in them whatsoever. As I said, I’m not a fan of hype.  Yet, the more great reviews it got, made me wonder why. Then likeminded friends started reading it, and in my eyes, the real reviews came around. I still was unsure; the mixed reviews were making me uncertain as to whether I wanted to taint my mind with this trilogy. So, why did I? For a few reasons; One, I was asked by various friends and such, to read it and give my honest opinion, which is what this here review is all about. Two, I had to know, are they that empowering? Did they really open the eyes to Kink? And three, I’m a glutton for punishment, I really am. So, a friend gives them to me, all ready for my kindle.  I tell myself they can’t be that bad, surely..

Fifty shades of Grey, is the story in which soon to be college graduate, Anastasia Steele, has a chance meeting with the all rich, powerful and much desired after bachelor, Christian Grey, when she has to step in for a friend to do an interview for a college paper.  Her first impression is set as she falls into his office. Little does she know, the moment she stumbled on to his floor, he wanted her in his world. The story progresses through their relationship from her losing her virginity to him, Christian wanting to dominate her and as time goes on, so much more. Not too bad, right? Wrong! Why? Not because of the basic idea, to me that has potential. My issues run a lot deeper.

Let’s start with Ana;

• ·         No one that self-loathing and simpering could get a super-hot boyfriend, let alone a rich and handsome Dom.

• ·         The constant crying, I mean, really?! Is there anything she doesn;t suddenly start sobbing over. His beauty, his pain. His palm..

• ·         The way she is portrayed as a whole. To me, that is not a heroine, it is a guide to how NOT to be.

Do I have faults with Christian? Hmm..

• ·         For a Dom he is very paranoid.  I agree with caring for your sub, but not hacking into her personal details and accounts.

• ·         Care for your sub, lavish her with gifts, but even a sub needs privacy and personal space.

• ·         The whole being damaged thing, leading to being a Dom felt so clichéd. Most Dom’s I know aren’t damaged. It put me off a touch. Try and be original…

Then we touch on the dialogue. I say dialogue in the loosest term possible. “Stop biting your lip” was often followed with “you know what it does to me”. I used to be an innocent lip biter when deep in thought, now I find myself doing it and grumble. Along with the constant input from her “inner goddess” and her highly opinionated “subconscious” I found it easy to loathe Ana, which I’m sure many others love. She lacks so much, including any personality, and it has made me consider how I like to find women in such writings. Women, as sexual beings, are beautiful strong creatures; this just robbed her of all dignity and left us with little more than a constantly crying, petulant brat.  Not the feisty kind of woman, you would willingly spank as she has a tendency to purposefully disobey. Ana had one. It was just buried in snot and tears. The way Christian often seemed to speak down to her annoyed me too. Yes, she was a young woman, but not a simpleton. A man talks to me like I’m slightly special, and I walk away. 

I have to confess the choice of words used in the trilogy made me groan. Women have a clit. This word was used. Women have a vagina. This often referred to by many handles; a cunt, fanny, pussy, yes even a vagina. But constantly calling it “my sex”. Seriously?! I laughed the first time. This isn’t a term I would ever expect in such writing.  It’s as if mentioning the word “vagina” would cause Ms James to blush! Call it what it is dear, you have mentioned “kinky fuckery” calling a cunt a cunt, isn’t really going to cause any added blushing. In general I found much of the language lazy, so much was constantly repeated and at times I was wondering if I had gone backwards, not forwards in the books. Overall the whole trilogy felt clumsy. There was no smooth flow between scenes, one minute Ana would be about to fuck Christian, then literally the next line would be about her drinking coffee in a meeting. Total mind fuckery, I tell ya! Finish the scene, make it flow then start the next scene  with another chapter!  

My overall opinion is that this was a story with potential that was so poorly executed. Obviously, I’m in the minority with this thought, as E.L.James is worth about £4mill, which for stories based on her love of the relationship of Edward and Bella in Twilight, is good going. Good luck to her, and her varied success but my final word of advice. If you want to read REAL erotica, go for something like “women on top” by Nancy Friday. Try the wonderful words from “Girl with a one track mind”, but please don’t come and tell me that the fifty shades books are amazing, modern day erotica, when to me they are little more than a tittering girl wishing to play with a tie and some whips..

Now please excuse me whilst I fill my mind with real erotica. And maybe some delicious, deep, dirty smut..